ForgivenessMorning Meditations

No Strings Attached: on happingess and being right

posted by jean January 26, 2012 0 comments

It’s getting to be that time again, when politics and elections are the buzz of many a conversation. I usually steer away from too much political talk, because I know I have a tendency to want, or need, to be right. And that’s prime territory for an ego trip.

And yet, I enjoy sharing my perspective, my experiences and information. (One of the reasons I blog! 🙂 So, I have been enjoying political discussions lately, because I remind myself when sharing what I see, think, feel or know, that I am not responsible for how my sharing is received. In order to truly share, we must be able to give “with no strings attached.” We cannot give anything–whether it is our opinion, advice, a hug, a monetary gift–and need for it to be received a certain way in order for us to be happy. If I share an insight and someone ridicules or disagrees with me, I can still be happy if there are “no strings attached.” However, if I have an agenda with my giving or sharing that includes being agreed with, then I am doomed to be unhappy, because I cannot control what others think, see, or believe. Having strings attached when giving means trying to control the outcome, or trying to control the other person, because I have given my power to be happy over to my need to be right. (You may need to read that sentence again 😉

As I was sharing my perspective about a presidential candidate today, I noticed again that when someone disagrees with me, the internal reaction is that (ego) impulse of needing to be right, and therefore wanting to persuade the other that they are wrong because of this and that, and I am right because of this and that. Underneath and around that impulse to be right are layers of judgement, fear and control. The fear is that I will be wrong, which leads to guilt and punishment according to the unconscious mind or ego. Then of course there are all the judgements that go along with proving that I am right and the other is wrong. “What’s wrong with them? Don’t they get it? Why don’t they understand? They’re stupid idiots!” LOL And with fear comes its partner control. For where fear has been given power, control steps in attempting to ease the pain fear inflicts.

It’s a funny game we play with and on ourselves: a massive, hopefully hilarious, albeit painful ego-trip which always and inevitably leads to unhappiness. Fortunately, that’s our barometer: our happiness. If we notice we are not able to be happy, to be at peace, with whatever circumstances we are in, we can know, with certainty, we have taken an ego trip. And we can return home to Wholeness with the decision to be happy rather that following the ego’s need to be right. We can continue to share who we are, to give our insight or perspective, with no strings attached, no agenda, no need to be right. When we share from our certainty that we Are, regardless of appearances of right and wrong (or any other dichotomies), then we truly share from Love. We truly share peace, and offer ourselves back to Wholeness.

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