Almost everyone I know has been experiencing great change during this early part of 2012: a big shift in career, relocation, a major relationship ending and/or a new one beginning, death, health challenges, or all of the above! No doubt, big changes are happening. And, for many those changes are taking the form of major breakthroughs in life-long challenges, or visions and ventures that have been seen and worked on for years, and finally fruition is happening. What an exciting time of opportunity and growth!
One of the themes I’ve noticed throughout all this growth and change we’re witnessing in and around us is Havingness. We are, without a doubt, stepping into a new world, a new community of humanity, a new consciousness. And the underlying pattern of this newness is our greater havingness, both personally and collectively. Havingness is like receptivity, our ability and willingness to accept, to have, what is. Havingness places no limits upon ourselves. It recognizes and validates miracles, and it gives space for the entire spectrum of human experience.
While collectively we still have a long way to go in expanding our havingness, we are taking great steps. We are having more awareness and permission to speak up about what we see and know. Revolutions, protests, petitions and demonstrations worldwide attest to this. We are having more willingness to question old ways of doing and being while creating new systems and modes of relating economically, politically and socially. Grassroots community organizations promoting sustainability, alternative currency, sharing, fairness in housing, organic agriculture, new education models and creative expression all attest to this greater havingness for our new world.
We know we’re the ones we’ve been waiting for, and we are being the change we’d like to see, and are seeing, in the world.
Our next step is to continue to have more. We will have more change when we can accept that ugliness, greediness and fear has appeared to control the world for too long, and continues to seem dominant and unyielding. When we can give the fear, greed and ugliness within us space to Be, rather than fight it, hide it, fear it, deny or ignore it, we can be free from it. Without our resistance to fear, fear has no power. It is a wind that dies and and disappears without us blowing back at it. When we can fully have fear, fear won’t have us in it’s grip.
The grip of fear is loosening everywhere, within us and all around us. It’s a joy for me to witness. Yet as fear comes out of the woodwork, we can sometimes lose ourselves in the confusion of its whirlwind release. We can forget who we are, become afraid of the fear, and experience the agonizing resistance to fear. But what if we could just have the fear? What would that look or feel like?
Havingness for fear means we are the neutral (meaning non-judging and non-resisting), aware, compassionate and amused observer of the energy we call fear, and all of the emotions, sensations and effects of it in the body-mind. This takes practice, and willingness to fail and try again, over and over. Havingness is a huge step towards mastery. Becoming more and more aware, neutral, compassionate and amused of what we experience in our body-mind is the path to mastery. It may not always be easy, but it can be fun if we choose!
So what does havingness for fear have to do with having more fun? How can we possibly have fun with fear? We can start, in the moment, and choose every moment, not to be afraid of or judge fear. This gives us space and awareness. We are not so stuck in the tunnel of fear and judgement that we can’t see what it is, how we got in it and how to get out. Then we can accept ourselves within the experience of fear: “I can have that I am in fear, and love myself in this space.” Then we can get curious and neutral to the fear. “Wow, that’s an amazing amount of fear! Look at how thick, dark, ugly, terrifying, convincing and annoying that fear is!” We can even become a little amused 🙂 “Holy shit! That fear really threw me for a loop! It really has me shakin’ and tremblin’! I’m peeing my pants!” If we can accept ourselves running in fear circles, or becoming a monster every once in a while because of fear, then we can start to have a little fun with it. We can stop, breathe, have some space from it, not take it so seriously, take our power back, and enjoy the ride back to peace, clarity, joy, love and wholeness.
More havingness for the darker side of life is also more havingness for the bright side of life. We can’t have peace, joy, prosperity and love if we are resisting fear, greed, anger, sadness and hatred. When we resist something we make it real in our experience. When we can have something, we recognize and experience the Truth.